"Be fearless when it comes to life, and careless when it comes to what people may think or say about you."

"People say I make strange choices, but they're not strange for me. My sickness is that I'm fascinated by human behvaior, by what's underneath the surface, by the worlds inside people." - Johnny Depp

 

ENFPs are passion-driven ‘ideas’ people. They gain energy from interacting with the world around them, and become quickly excited over new possibilities. Though ENFPs loves being around people, they crave alone time much more than the average extrovert. ENFPs search for a deeper meaning in just about everything, and use their much-coveted alone time to decide how their experiences fit in with their system of core values. To be frank, it’s an exhausting personality to have.

 

Right now - the year changing in few hours, I'm home alone, using my "much-coveted alone time deciding how my experiences fit into my value system." :D Though I get most of my energy of human connection and drain quickly when I'm alone for too long, I have a huge introvert in me as well. This part of me has been tested all December, hosting my dear friends, moving in with someone and suddenly sharing the everyday life, and all the social events that have come along. And I've enjoyed every day of it, in fact, the past month has been a period of my life that I'll surely never forget. However, I've always needed a huge amount of time alone, time when no one knows where I am, what I'm doing. To recharge, reflect, create.  Lack of this kind of time escalated today and I felt like I needed a break.

We spent the past few days with Valma in Hermanus, with her friends from London. Stories of the past days will never make it to instagram or the blog but let's just say we experienced another kind of lifestyle. I'm so grateful for Sarah & Gideon, our lovely hosts and all others who made us feel welcome to each event we got to attend. The reason why I drove back home  without Valma was that we had the option of flying back to Cape Town. As I had my car there I had to turn down helicopter ride, but I wanted her to have the experience. Though I'm by no doubt jealous, I'm so happy one of us gets to do this. So, after few nights of dinner parties and new people, I decided to skip the New Years party and head home today, to avoid the traffic and get some much needed alone time.

 

Instead of feeling lonely, I only find it funny and typical for me that the night I decided it was time for alone time happened to be New Years Eve. I guess this is what happens when I drain myself socially - end up spending new years home alone and loving it ;) I had the option of meeting Maija & Luka for drinks but I simply couldn't - I guess it also the result of weeks of sleep deprivation. I've been too high on life lately to sleep. ;) Hope they can share a breakfast with me tomorrow.

 

Waking up fresh and alone to 2016 doesn't sound to bad as I know I'll be surrounded by my close people by the time of afternoon. If this was Christmas, I'd be shedding tears of sadness, but now I can't help by smile to myself.  Embrace your weirdness, that's what I keep saying and living accordingly. I hope everyone else is having a night surrounded with the people they want to. <3 As ironic as it sounds, I am as well.

 

P.S. At times like these, I love to go back to my favourite articles,  finding it amusing how someone can drill into my mind so accurately. I can identify with every single one but I picked the ones relevant past days ;)

 

1. Getting your energy from social interaction, but disliking superficial conversations. Yes, I want to go to a party tonight. But a party full of contemplative people who want to alternate between taking shots and discussing the meaning of life.

2. Being very socially conscience but also fiercely individualistic. This means always wanting to fit in with a group, but never wanting to compromise your personality to do so.

3. The constant tug-of-war between ‘YES, I WANT TO GO EXPRIENCE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW’ and ‘Wow, I need a lot of time to process these experiences, can I take a breather?’

7. Constantly contradicting yourself because you genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.

8. Everyone thinking you’re flirting with them, all of the time.

10. Getting bored 500 times faster than the average human being.

12. Stressing out friends and acquaintances who don’t like straying from the original plan.

13. Working towards a constantly altering notion of your “ideal self.”

My extrovert loves her different roles in life.... My introvert loves to learn new skills and create, be it any new project.

17. Needing significantly more alone time than other extraverts.

I have a fear of missing out for both time with others and lack of spending time with myself. My extrovert loves engaging conversations, meeting new people and hearing stories, my introvert loves to process these encounters and talks into writing, or new dreams and goals.

18. Others being surprised that you hold such strong opinions and beliefs, despite your easy-going nature.

22. Wanting to be alone… but like, with other people nearby.

23. Appearing shallow because of your tendency to flit from topic to topic in conversation, with lightening speed.

24. Having a fiercely independent streak… but getting bored without company.

 

25. Being a walking contradiction in almost every way, but knowing that you wouldn’t change a thing, even if you could.